bwit
it’s been a year since bwit died. about a couple of days ago, i was searching for our shirt contacts from last summer, and there it was, with the shirt order tally sheet — i saw a note i wrote to my orgmates - "quick count lang to ha!!! sorry, got to go, bwit died last night & i haven’t got enough sleep :(" — and then i saw a lot of corrections (by them) too, cuz apparently my counting was bad. man, i must’ve been really shaken up.. oh well, it’s been a year.. but i still miss her every once in a while.
well, if you’re wondering who bwit is… she was my pet - a siberian hamster actually. well, some might’ve guessed it already cuz of the name - "bwit" as in from "bubwit".. btw, "bub" naman was what we tagged my previous crush whose hair looked like bwit’s, and also what i named my miniature toy mouse (not taxidermy - eew!). anyway, raymund gave her to me, because i think i asked him to 
and i took care of her for like 6 months until she died.. i dunno if that’s the normal hamster life span.. but anyway, it was my fault actually. man.. i’m not really good at keeping pets. i remember when we were in grade school, my mom bought me and my brother some fish, and mine died cuz it jumped out of the aquarium. bwit got out of her aquarium too - she didn’t die of course, but it really scared me to death. i mean, she could’ve scampered around the house and i might not ever be able to catch her back.. but she didn’t do that, she was too chicken to jump off the ledge i think anyway, it was kind of shocking cuz i didn’t think she’d be able to get herself out, i mean, the opening was sooo narrow, i didn’t think she’d even fit. but she did, apparently underneath that furry exterior was just a bag of bones well that incident really caused some panic around here.
when she died, i didn’t get over it instantly. i remember the night she died, i was on the phone with raymund crying my heart out. it was embarrassing, really… and the morning after that, i could barely get near her, i’d stare at her from the dining table as i was eating breakfast and i’d cry. i even remember myself suppressing a tear as i was riding the philcoa jeep from school, cuz i can’t help but think of her.. and of course, her burial, i made her a box and we buried her in our garden - i was hysterical. oh well, i might’ve felt silly.. or may be not. she’s the only pet that was really mine, and she had been there the whole 2nd sem of my 3rd year in college - and that was the best sem i had, academicwise. bwit must’ve been my lucky charm she’s a blessing.. yeah, even if she bit off my alligator pen’s head.. i really loved her. raymund had asked me a few times already if i wanted to buy a new hamster, cuz everytime we’d pass by bioresearch, i’d always go to the hamsters’ section there and look for bwit look-alikes. but nah, i guess i’m not ready to have a new pet yet, and of course, no one could take bwit’s place
bwit’s just adorable, esp. when she drinks and when she gobbles her food and her cheeks get swollen (trivia: hamsters don’t immediately swallow their food sometimes, they just keep them in their mouth for a while). she’d cheer me up, esp. when i’d feel not-so-good - i think she actually saved me from depression (hehe).
anyway, there’s this song that i like, which my bestfriend thinks is very depressing & sort of pathetic — "butterflies instead", which goes: "i want my pets to come alive and cheer me up and tell me everything’s alright. stuffed animals are always right." well, bwit’s not really a stuffed animal, but this song sure reminds me of her.
May 7th, 2005 at 7:58 am
i also had an aqarium when i was a kid and i had 3-6 gold fishes in it. this stray cat tiptoes everynight and fish out my gold fishes that the next day my aquarium would be empty. i usually would but 3 fishes every friday just to be eaten alive by that stupid, homeless cat.and sure i never had any close relationship, sort of like between you and bwit, because my fishes didnt live long enough to win my affection.that explains a lot of who i am right now,lol.